5 Reasons Why 80s Movies Ruined My Life

Hello, Lovelies!
To begin, lets just say we all love eighties movies. I mean who doesn't? It was a simpler time. The hair was bigger, the eye makeup brighter, spandex was in style, and MTV was solely music. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I lived in the eighties. Now, although John Hughes provided us with some fantastic cinematic entertainment, he also managed to single-handedly ruin my life. That's right, and here's why...

1. They Give You False Hope In Relationships (Sixteen Candles)

I mean, come on. "Oh yeah sure we've never talked before except for that one time after the school dance when I said hey to you and you awkwardly walked away. But sure, I'll creepily find out where your sister's wedding is and sit outside waiting for you to come out while I lean against my red Porsche." Yeah, that's not weird at all. "Oh yeah and we're in love now, just so you know. And I brought you a cake." Keep in mind, that they never spoke before until the ending scene. But it's made out to be this great romantic gesture that every teenage girl in America dreams of. But hey, we're not the brightest bunch, now are we? 

2. Detention Isn't Really Like That (The Breakfast Club)

Now, from my personal experience, punishment for lack of decent behavior usually results in a 2-3 hour supervised session of sitting in a room alone without your phone. But in this school, that obviously results in a Saturday detention with 4 other kids in one room all day long with the odd lack of authoritative supervision. I mean, for detention it sounds pretty fun. Dancing, makeovers, heartfelt confessions, etc. But hey, maybe my school is the only one that doesn't do that. But still, this movie urges me to bring out my inner John Bender and see what this whole detention thing is all about.

3. My Longing Desire for Duckie to be my Best Friend (Pretty in Pink)

He's cute, cuddly, loveable, and absolutely adorable. Anddddd he's in love with her. Now as a girl, I think we've all experienced this problem. *insert confident hair flip here* But I mean, come on Andie, the boy lip-synched to an Otis Redding song for you! Not only were his comedic quips hysterical and charming, but he pretty much made the entire movie. He was there for her when the guy named after an appliance broke her heart and beat up James Spader. I mean, WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?!?!? I'm still patiently waiting for the day my own Duckie waddles into my life. But he hasn't come. 

4. Day's Off of School aren't that Glamorous (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

While the thought of having an absolute fabulous day off school sounds great, the reality is quite the opposite. Now normally, a day off means laying in bed sick with your mother threatening to take you to the doctor. But, I did have the pleasure of taking a day off this past school year and in my head it was more Ferris-like than it really was. I really just went to Starbucks and then spent most the day watching Saved By The Bell in bed. Yet again, Ferris builds up an imaginary reality where your best friend and significant other also take the day off and you spend a magical, adventurous day together in your local city. Doesn't happen.

5. Guys Aren't That Creative (Say Anything)

Now, most the time when a conflict emerges with a guy it usually results in constant texts/calls and a lack of face-to-face talk. Guys aren't really that good at coming up with good ways to romanticize girls without help. But no, Lloyd Dobler sets the standard way up there. He comes to her house in that khaki trench coat, raises that symbolic boom box over his head and plays that Peter Gabriel song like there's no tomorrow. In reality, I doubt that would ever happen. But yeah, that's him. John Cusack. Raising the standards of teenage girls since 1989. And we thank you for it. 

All my love,
Hailey

(Photos from Google)